KCB Readers (7 Moments You Have Experienced With A Nigerian Baby)

As a Nigerian parent, aunt, uncle, cousin or even Teacher, you would have come across one, if not all, of the following types of Nigerian kids at some point in your life:

1. THE FLYING PEE KID:

Been caught in one of those moments where you are changing your sons diaper and in that moment his pee decides to fly straight out! God bless you if your lips are wide open, singing the Hallelujah chorus.

2. THE BOOB DISPLAY MOMENT:

That moment when you are gloriously dressed and in public but your 3 month old daughter decides to cry for her favorite meal of the day.  Well motherhood rocks! Do away with the embarrassment and feed that beauty!

3. THE FLYING KID MOMENT:

That moment when your kid decides to embarrass you by running around the supermarket or mall…. everyone begins to look at you in a funny way, wondering “what kind of undisciplined mother are you?” Even worse, if the kid begins to cry for something you can’t afford in the supermarket 

4. THE NICE WAVING KID MOMENT:

You are certain you strapped that child properly at the back of the car and you are carefully driving… suddenly, a LATSMA officer  stops you on the road. You then look back at your child and realize he has wound the window and has been generously waving to everyone driving by. 

5. THE WAILING KID MOMENT:

you have one of those kids who, if they don’t scream, wail or cry in a day, your neighbors come to ask if everything is alright. I know…. sometimes, you just want to beat the living daylight out of that child!

6. THE MOCKING KID MOMENT:

you are practically scared to take this child out because he or she does nothing other than insult or mock others passing by. Like: ‘Mum, why is she so fat?’  Oh my gosh mum, her legs are horribly wobbly”

7. THE TELL-IT-ALL KID MOMENT:

How embarrassing can a child get? They have no idea how to keep their mouth shut. In fact, they tell everything their eyes see. Not acceptable in this Nigeria, where we all try to keep our lives on the low. “My mum just bought my dad a car!”. “I heard aunty and uncle screaming in their room last night”.