We received this open letter recently from one of our
readers and have decided to publish an unedited version of it for the purpose
of discussion. If you have experienced this behavior before and have dealt with
it amicably, please leave your comments below after reading it because it will
help our reader make better decisions in this matter. Thank you.
Dear
Water,
For
the purpose of this letter, you shall be known as water (because that’s what
you are). I know you are wondering why I am writing you this letter, I just
needed to clear the air about somethings. That been said, let’s get straight to
point.
I
don’t care that you have known my squishy for a very long time or that you are
his best friend. What you should know is, I am now in the picture; his girl,
his wife to be, the mother of his unborn children (how deep can that get?) I am
now blood and you are water; so please, take a chill pill.
You
have no idea how much I wanna throw a brick in your head, everytime I see you
sitting in my seat when all three of us are going out in squishy’s car? Dear
BFF, your seat is at the back. Stop! And I mean it, Stop! Going for my seat
right in front; beside my boo. Don’t you get it? He is my Squishy and you are
just the other guy from 2004.
Its
no news that you are always hungry. Just one plea, make sure you feel that
tummy before heading to my squishy’s place when I am around. I am not a chef
and I only derive joy in cooking my squishy’s meal. If in a week, you come to
eat our food more than three times, then accept my apologies if your portion of
the food turns too salty or peppery.
You
must know that; while I have to fake smiles whenever you are around for the
games, please leave your piggy attitude by the door before coming into my
squishy’s home. I hate the fact that I have to clean the mess after your games.
If you refuse to listen, then I’ll be forced to effect some stern measures you
wouldn’t like. Remember! Blood is thicker than water and I hold the keys to
that house!
I
also know that you’ve been trying to hook my squishy up with other
babes.(Hahaha I bet you didn’t think I’d find out). Just so you’d know, I am
the one who will end up being Mrs Squishy and I’ll run the homefront, so don’t
feel bad when I tell the gate man not to let you in MY HOME! So you wanna have
access to our house when we are married? You better start being my number 1
fan. That’s the only way you are eating my food, whenever you visit our
matrimonial home.
Finally,
you really need to stop the “your boyfriend is out with me’ game when I know
he’s out with some other babe. Do I trust you? No! But will I act like I
believe? Definately Yes! I am only cooking up a plan to relegate you to the Ex
bff in squishy’s life. In case you’ve forgotten, “Never underestimate the
powers of a scorned girlfriend!”
So
you wanna remain ‘Our’ friend? Then you better start playing by my rules.
Sincerely
BLOOD!!!
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